Tuesday, 2 August 2011

In Loving Memory of My Beloved Dad

Tribute to my father who passed away on August 22, 2010. 

You are not alone

I am here with you

Though we're far apart

You're always in my heart

 Let me tell you a little bit about  my father…

My father grew up in a broken home where my grandpa and grandma are separated when he was at a young age.

His father went to work at the Christmas Island while he was left with his grandfather to fend for himself. My dad joined the Police Field Force (Pasukan Polis Hutan) at the tender age of 16.

Father and mom was arranged married when they are both 26 and 18 years ears old.

After dad settle down he was posted back as normal police constable officer. I follow my parents moving from state to state as a
result of my dad job..Sekinchan(Selangor), Penang and finally Seremban.

Before posted to Seremban he was sent to training to become a Special Branch detective or now called Cawangan Khas.

Special Branch is something like FBI. During the period the main threat to the country is to handle Communist party enemy and those helping the communists will be detained.

My father being kind hearted and sympathy with some of those innocent imprisoned help them by getting the reopening of the case  and the final successful appeal. Many are grateful for his help as without him there is little chance of getting out.
He would reject any monetary rewards for helping them to successful appeal. Most will have ulterior motive  when helping people but not him.

My father was well known and loved by so many. He made a lot of friends throughout his life and touched many peoples  lives. He lived a simple life and was content with what he had and all he had achieved throughout the years. His personality was one of a kind, his smile was beautiful.  
He received many medals for his service….  the medals he was most proud of is being awarded a P.J.K or Pingat Jasa Kebaktian in recognition by the states of Negeri Sembilan for his service to community. 

Every time I hears the siren of an ambulance,  ... something that won’t escape my memory ...for myself is to follow an ambulance and father being admitted to the hospital.

A year before this we went to Penang and Ipoh but not knowing this will be our last family visit together. Not long after the Christmas holidays, he was hospitalised but did not appear any serious illness at first. Shortly after that he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and his condition deteriorate from a big guy lost weight to be a frail person. It is really heartbreaking to see him like this.

My dad was a talkative fellow before the illness, after that he is very quiet. I hate seeing mum and dad quarrel sometimes but now it will be music to my ears if i can hear them arguing again.

Mum sacrifice mentally, emotionally and physically in order to take care of my bedridden dad. As within 8 months from diagnosed with cancer we would have to face that dreaded day when we would lose him. Dad slip to coma for two days and on the morning of 22th August 2010,mum call from nursing home informing me that …my dad is gone

Dad was a Buddhist but converted to Christianity as he would like to be buried in the same place as his dad and one day when my time comes I will do the same.

I know my father is watching over all of us. It brings our family comfort knowing he is not suffering anymore. We will continue to keep his memory alive. We will remember the good times we had with him and cherish the years we shared with him.

The funeral speech will be a hardest thing to do but my sister is able to give a frank and comprehensive speech delivered.

Even if I wanted to , I will not be able as I'd be so overcome with grief and barely able to talk. I hope my blog will make up for the speech.

As a Chinese customs on the 7th day the spirit will come to visit the love one. Mum for the whole month will always include a seat for dad and food just in case he comes. One strange thing happen for the whole week, the food and his favourite cup are left on the table but what surprise us is that his food are not disturb by ants but my mum cup which is covered will be swarm by ants and is only merely plain water.

Mum and I had numerous dreams about dad.

One that never forget..
When my dad passed away I had a strange dream. This is what I dreamed.

I was awoken by my dad in his usual white collar T-shirt and shorts. Suddenly I found myself out of body experience. I felt my spirit gradually lifting out of my body and kept on floating from a dark sky to a very bright sky.

When I finally reach there I saw dad sleeping peacefully wearing white suit and white tie. What this place look like? I describe it as being a white sky, cloudy, quiet and bright place.

I asked my dad, 'How are you?'. I don't hear his reply, only gave me a satisfactory smile with both eyes closed. I don't know where I have been. Given a tour of heaven I think.

That is all I remembered so vivid and clear dream. Or is it real?

I did relay this dream to the Church pastor and he reply that Jesus love you and he feels our pain of losing my dad. He would like us to know that dad is in heaven. It was so comforting to know dad was at peace and are with Jesus.

Mum also has dream and dad said  "  I am well"  . In the dreams he no longer frail but his normal self.

Now I hardly hang out with friends after work even weekends and will only go out for a movie once a while with Chai.

I wish now I would have spend more time with dad as I thought I have plenty of time but tomorrow never comes.

Give it time. It heals most wounds. I still have not able to heal mine.

We all have to leave this world sooner or later ,I do feel that if there is afterlife, .... Nice to see you back again

My Papa, you are missed so dearly. ...

As for the time being we will visit you whenever we miss you as your resting place is only 2 km from where we live.

For all of you who still have your dad or mom here...be extra nice to him or her tomorrow...and everyday for that matter.

Life is so fragile and can be taken anytime.

Dear Jesus,

Please take care of my dad
He's up in heaven with you
And tell him that I love him
And I really miss him too

My father is gone, but forever in our heart he lives!
Thank you Lord. Amen.

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