Qing Ming Jie - Tomb Sweeping Day

When my grandparents were still alive,every Chinese New Year we will all gather at my grandparents' house at 101, Jalan Jerlun Buntong, Ipoh, Perak.

Now they are no longer in the world and even the old house no longer there, overgrown with grass.
 The Chinese visit their family graves in the 10 days before and after the actual day. Qing Ming always falls on a Wednesday. This year Qing Ming festival falls on April 4. 

Without this gathering it would not bring family members an opportunity for a family get-together. When I was a kid, I know each cousins well but now after a long absent we were feeling like strangers.

Anyway this year I did planned to go to Qing Ming also known as Tomb Sweeping Day or Chinese All Souls' Day but being a grandson from my mother's side ,I am barred from participating. No,it was more because of  transportation.

Did you know girls and women barred from participating Qing Ming Festival? In the past only the sons had the right to go up to the grave sites and pray to the ancestors and gods. According to the Confucianism, the men took the place as the head of the  family and the women in the shadows.Now that's what I called gender discrimination. What happen if there is no male descendant, who would then do the paying respect to their ancestors and relatives during the Qing Ming Festival.

Other taboos like married daughter are not allowed to return home to pray to her ancestors, as the male side will afraid she would end up sharing the family's wealth luck with the husband's family! For crying out loud, those who still believe this practice should not be living in the 21st Century.

My aunt is annoyed that my uncle in law who converted to Christian recently still holding joss stick when paying respect to past family members or relatives. She should not be angry as it's a traditional way of honoring the departed.It's the thought that counts ,not the action.

Food is offered while paying homage to the deceased .The food usually consists of chicken, eggs, or other dishes a deceased was fond of.Tea,wine, incense and joss paper or ghost money or hell bank note are burnt and offered to the ancestors as well.

Traditionally, the Chinese believed that the spirits of deceased ancestors will look after the family even when they are gone. How? Burning paper money the traditional way, not only a waste of money but also bad for the environment.Don't You Agree?

A lot money is spend on Qing Ming burning of spirit money and paper replicas of material goods. Why not donate the money to charity in the name of the deceased? In that way the deceased can contributing to charity while also help save the environment.

Qingming Burning paper gifts for the departed

Huge house or bungalow – with furnishings all illustrated over it.

Paper shoes usually burned to appease the spirits of the deceased

Some people have doubted the traditional ways of remembering the departed. So I visited my friend one day and well this is what she said,"I took a photograph during the Qing Ming day and my departed parents appeared on the photograph'.
Unfortunately she already deleted the photo when I asked her to show me as we should not keep the photo of the deceased image.
My friend sister is blessed to be able to see God and spirits.. Believe it or not.This what I learned.

Avoid selfie or snapping photo at the cemetery. One cannot see with our naked eyes and  might capture paranormal activity on camera. You have trapped them inside your camera and brought them home

Those living in the afterlife  is not too much different from the after world and, therefore, whatever is used in this world applies there, too.

When offering and burning spirit money use the traditional .. not hell bank note.Yeah, right! due to Hell bank money inflation rate high.

However things like paper replicas of material goods such as luxury cars, bungalows, gadgets - massage chair,mobile phone,electronic product ..etc has no use in afterlife. Anyway would you want to listen a phone call after midnight saying, 'thanks for your mobile phone son ,but I prefer I-phone'?

No need to write the sender name attached to the box but must write the departed name or else other restless spirit will come to collect the treasure that people burn for their deceased.

I heard it from my mum that the paper car offering to my grandparent with plate number xxx 9898, so I was going to buy this number but came out the very same day 4D draw. Oh boy, some of my relative did buy but only consolation prize winner.

Paper cars offering often comes with uniformed chauffeur

The Christian observed All Souls' Day instead which falls on Nov 2 this year but being Chinese I did go to visit my dad final resting place at Sikamat Christian Cemetery. Compared to the Chinese Qing Ming , the Christian way is rather simple with leaving the flower at the grave vase and lighted candles in the Honor of the deceased.

I personally find the Christian cemetery much tidier as after the Qing Ming is over who is going to clean up the cemetery place with all the left over food and rubbish?

Strange looking- awning erected over a tomb

Christian cemetery kept reasonably clean and tidy

My youngest auntie husband criticize my aunt in law saying, 'I find it strange when people do not care about my grandma when  she is alive, but when she is dead, then they go pray to her and remember her to the extent of treating grandma goodies?
 What is the point? Doing it to show people?or so grandma will bless them for good health, safety, for smoothness in career?

The concept of filial piety or obedience to ones elderly should be emphasize while they are still living ,after they're gone whatever you do it doesn't actually seem to serve any purpose. Only to make yourself feel less guilty,that's all.