Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Your child's development toward independence

As children grow up, they progress to a point in their lives where they go from a total dependence newborn baby to a semi independent teenager. Most parents are overprotective of their children and it is  the same practises all over the world cause every baby/child is the most beautiful precious in their parents' eyes.

No matter how old a children is , their parents will still watches her grown up children for signs of improvement but their action of being overprotective may hinder their child's development on the road to independence.

We understand parental reluctance to give up the role of keeping their children safe from harm but this is going to effect the self confidence of children as they can't handle life's challenges on their own. Parental must let go the children freedom as to let them have the courage to face life ahead.

There's an old Chinese proverb saying, "You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk."
In short - definition, you are willing to accepting responsibility and learning from defeat. By being determined to never give up and never quit even when things get really tough just like a stubborn ants.

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going", MU crawled the way back
 from the brink of defeat against BM before dying moments winner

When the children was young, everything have to take care by the parents who are in decision making for kids on what their kids see and eat, what they wear and who they see, etc..but when too much of parental control the kids will start to rebel.

Keep them as safe without getting too restrictive by letting them explore the world. You may act like a football coach to watch them perform from a distance and act appropriately by giving them feedback advice on their mistake.

Mother bird kicking her chick out of the nest? Expecting her
to be independent grown up

Sometimes the parents need to know its time you need to let go of the parental control. Stop becoming control freaks, you can't forever be there for your children.


The children has to learn to be responsible for their actions and let them make their own decision to boost their self esteem or self confidence. It is inappropriate to ask the consent of the parent all the time but due to the world is becoming more dangerous in big cities, it isn't safe to stay late at night anymore, hence they must be back before midnight curfew just like Cinderella's carriage will turn back into a pumpkin at midnight!

We need to give children more freedom but still watch them from afar and not previously like a hawk watching over them.
Its a contradicting situation and impossible to comprehend when your children start to say, I'm not a kid anymore, and I make my own decisions! Okay then but when you stop showing concern on them anymore, later on they response  with you don't love them anymore. How strange it is?


When those children become young adult or when their child turns 18, parents need to try a different approach. This is the transition period where the knowledge and skills will better prepare them for their future adulthood involvement.

Parents are unwilling to let go the duty of taking care of children as they felt anything happen to them it's their responsibility.

It's the circle of life on taking care on your children before you setting them free. Your children will hate the nagging of their parents advice or comment but when those kids become parents someday they will only realise what a heavy burden on their parents shoulder.

Yeah, being parenthood is the most difficult job in the world. My friend, Pua have a difficult time to take care of his two young children, should any of them sick. It affected his sleeping time, just barely able to recuperate some of his lost sleep by taking a short nap during lunch time.

Ice Age 4  positive portrayal of the traditional parental over control
Manny nagging Peaches
In the animation movie of Ice Age 4, mammoth parents find hard to let go freedom of his daughter, the headstrong Peaches have been in constant squabbles over his typical overprotective dad, Manny.
Many times Manny watched her rebellious teenage daughter like a hawk to make sure she stay out of trouble, helping her child pick good friends and how to say no to negative influences.

So, naturally, like any teen girl seeking adventure and thrill, they get irritated and annoyed because her dad is always trying to tell them what to do...till one day potentially end-of-the-world for the Ice Age as the earth begins to split apart. Manny, Diego, and Sid are separated from the rest of the herd.

After battling big waves, bad pirates and treacherous sirens -group of sea nymphs who by their sweet singing lured mariners to destruction, in the end an emotional reunion when reuniting with Manny's family. Ultimately, Manny allowed Peaches the freedom to explore the island but on one condition, she will have to be back at home before the clock strikes midnight.

This is happening all over the world, where the local population to become lazy and complacent. While with immigrants are acustom to hard work and dedication. They are like the independent child able to stand on their own two feet.

 Its like a case of parents or government pampers its people, expect to be spoon fed to them. I have seen many immigrants work hard for low pay and do whatever work local people unwilling to accept any work perceived as “low-class”. My views of immigrant workers are that they work harder, longer and complain less.

The Chinese immigrants were well and widely received by all over the world, they earn respect worldwide because Chinese were one of the best race well known for self sufficient, hard working, frugal, and mutually supportive supportive towards each other.

The Chinese may have once been immigrants but because the above factors, they have created wealth for themselves.

The most important factors contributing to the success of your race are::

Must be able to stand on their own two feet, without handouts or spoon-feeding and ready to compete with other parts of the world.




 Like the young birds leaving the nest, one by one will take their turns

It's amazing how fast time flies, two of my nieces already working somewhere in JB far from their parents home. While the third, the youngest will be enrolled in a local University in a few weeks time.

My sister always nag her youngest daughter telling her she must know how to look after her self-care needs as she got the habit on relying her mum to provide her with other necessities, example tissue paper. My niece like to ask my sister for tissue paper, she replied "What, you think mum is tissue paper? How many times have I told you…When you do go outdoors, be prepared and make sure your basic needs are taken care of before doing so."


Very soon my sister will keep thinking how quiet her home once the last of her daughters enrol into University. Well that's life, you can't keep them at home forever. When the time is ripe you need to let go of the children just like the Mother bird kick out of the chicks once it can take care of itself.


Like they always say, 'Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind' so they can stand on their own feet and survives without being spoon fed.


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