Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Anger management

What is anger?Anger is a natural human reaction towards injustice or our body's natural response to threats and dangers. It usually emerge when someone offends us and we feel wronged or when a situation seems unfair and unjustified.

Our anger is normally controllable with a range mild irritation but may lead to frustration and violent rage destructive. People should always rationally think through their decision to act positively and not making decisions based on "Act First, Think Later".

When you are angry, your thoughts can be fill with narrow minded negative thoughts that preventing you from thinking straight. Remember to make wise decision only when you have a clear cut directions. If you did not keep your temper in check it becomes uncontrollable full-fledged rage.

I think that the downfall of Napolean was due to making bad decisions because of his anger mind which caused him to unable to think more analytically when he decided to invade Russia in the winter. Obviously one would think that Hitler would learn the lessons of history, but Hitler's failure to remember Napolean's folly was Hitler's fatal mistake.

Napoleon was a short man with a short fuse temper, it would take only one wrong move
 eventually lead to his downfall  

I guess it's true when people says, "Angry people who always make bad choices"

What are the physiological changes that occur during anger?

The anger cause your heart rate shoot up, the face and hands may feel hot, and the body may feel tense or rigid. The expression "your blood is boiling" is because when you turn angry, your body will produces adrenaline and that can cause your body temperature to rise.

Sir Alex Ferguson success is due to his using anger as motivation and
 his famous "hairdryer treatment" technique at half time pep talks. 
Our voice becomes louder and louder and commanding, and sometimes people may lose control of themselves.

When someone is angry, in the heat of the moment they say things that aren't in their minds, they didn't mean it to say hurtful things to you.It was in split-second of madness like blind anger, too many thoughts clouding our mind and we can't think straight.

Don't get into a heated discussion with someone. The first thing you do before escalate into argument is to just leave and let him or her cool down and says, Can we talk about it some other time?

Be careful! When you say things in anger, they leave a scar. You can't take back the words of hurts others unintentionally..The damaging words are out they can never be recalled. You've already said something hurtful, the damage is done and cannot be reversed. 

When a baby gets irritated they will let a sharp cry, little babies can't tell you anything about how they feel inside so this is the way babies express their emotions. Lucky you only have to look for three things when a babies cries is that either babies hungry, tired or babies wet.

Baby cry is due to basic needs not not being fulfilled 

Anger for an adult is more complicated emotion and will express anger and frustrations feelings in many ways. Usually an anger adult comes up when your self-esteem are threatened. Eg. If someone hurt you by calling you names or nicknames you have a tendency to react through retaliation. It can also happen when you been physically bump into, either unintentionally or intentionally planned.

Some people may also feel anger easily or have a 'short fuse' and get angry easily. This reminds me of Donald Duck who had a bad temper when frustrated.

Another kind of people may also feel anger when there is no practical reason why, they could easily have been frightening with a loud noise such as scream or high tone voice.

My friend, Yeo once spoken with a foreign worker in a normal loud noise caused him to cry but my friend says he did not scold him in any way. May be the size of my friend being physically imposing by comparison with the little foreigner caused him to feel threatened?

Do your face turn red when you angry? Not Hulk.
Arrrrgh!! Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry

We have all experienced anger at one time or another when something obstructing your plans from fulfilling your goals.

One example is when you walking towards your car in a car park and you found someone blocking your path, naturally your instinct reaction is you experience anger which increases blood flow to a part of the brain. Next thing you know the stress and negative thoughts will overtake your depressed mind like wanting to hurt the one who obstructing your way.

Do Not Let Anger Control You 

You have to control your anger. Well, that's easy for me to say but it's always easier said than done.

You can imagine it's like the Yin and Yang represent the two opposite principles in nature or we see it as the struggle between good and evil.

One angel will always tell the truth ..Control, control, you must learn control! but then the other will always lie, the devil will try to convince you to rebel with aggressive behaviour.

Angel vs Devil, comes the tug-of-war with words, trying to convince 

Anger is bad for your health

When we are angry, normally our blood pressure raises, heart beat faster and blood rush to our vein causing our face turn red. Too much anger can be the cause of hypertension.

What is hypertension? A condition in which abnormal blood pressure which one's heart is pumping blood at very fast rate, causing high blood pressure. The higher the pressure the heart has to work extra hard to make up for the increased pressure.

The strain exerted on your arteries and your heart, which makes it more likely a potentially candidate for heart attack, a stroke or high blood pressure.

Anger is bad for your health, it will take toll on the heart, brain, mind, and internal organ.

If you want to live a longer life, you need to learn to control your anger management on how to defuse your anger.

Anger Management

DeFuse 1- Try relaxation techniques, such as yoga, meditation and stress management to reduce stress and anxiety by relaxed breathing and deep muscle relaxation.

Defuse 2 - Take a timeout - when your overwhelmed, your mind overloads the brain with information that making it hard for you to focus. Then you will know its time to relieve your stress by taking a short break by indulge in a coffee break or take a brisk walks outside...but mind you don't practice by go out and engage in an unhealthy habit of smoke break.

You rather want to adopt a healthier habits like the commercial says, Take a break, take a kit-kat.

Defuse 3 - Get some physical activities to destressing your life by release some of the tension you've been feeling.

Defuse 4 - Don't jump on the first conclusion the issue that you see or always think before you speak as we did not go through thinking pocess, usually without realizing it we bypass, to get from a fact to a decision or action.  The Chinese likes to emphasize in the phrase, The black dog gets the food; the white dog gets the blame.

Defuse 5- When people waste time arguing, everyone loses. Its better to take the time to find solutions. Always remind yourself that anger will not solve anything, instead it may lead to further aggravation.

Defuse 5 - Don't hold a grudge...but it's hard to let go of it because it keeps coming back to haunt, it seems like just happened yesterday. There's an old saying on forgiveness: "To err is human, to forgive divine."

I still haven't learned the lesson well cause I'm the Unforgiven kind as I believe more on the lesson of the fable scorpion and the frog. The scorpion will never change its nature, there's just no point in being friends with scorpion.

Defuse 6 - Lightening a tense moment can help diffuse tension but you need to apply it delicately to soften the tension but one word of warning... if you say it in a sarcasm way it can  make matters worse just like Putting Out a Fire with Kerosene!

Defuse 7 - Don't stress yourself too much. You can't possibly handle all of the work by  taking over the work yourself. Those less important tasks and responsibilities you delegated to a subordinate. As my Boss like to put in a humour way,

Don't try to be Superman by overlooking all the task.Try to delegate your work by giving to your subordinate.

Defuse 8 - Have you ever been fake for the sake of saving face? Know when to seek help, its no shame
 in seeking help. At one time or another (probably more than one time), we will need the assistance of some person help. What goes around comes around... one day we will repay the kind gesture. 

Defuse 9- It's no joke with a statement on laughter is the best medicine. Laughter is miracle medicine that doesn't cost a thing which release enzymes, a powerful antidote that influence our body immune system.

Defuse 10- When you're angry, pausing to take a deep breath when you're upset really does help you feel better. If that won't work, count to ten before you speak . If very angry, count to one hundred. - by Jefferson, Thomas.

Every time we get angry, we don’t realize the powerful effect of anger. Everytime we losing control by releasing the anger by yelling or screaming, we will degrade our integrity.

Defuse 11- Why don't we try to change to smile more often everyday cause smile is infectious and healthful.

It would only takes 17 muscles to smile and 43 muscles to frown, so why choose the latter?

They learn too late that you don't mess with God's instructions.

In other words, don't be angry be happy, always smile but then... even Gods sometimes get angry like us but when God unleashed his hot anger, he did in a terrible devastation way.

The wrath of GOD which bring a great flood upon the earth, to destroy everything he created except for Noah's family and God's selection of animals transported into the ark in pairs.

So often we hear Chinese people use the word, "Buddha also has anger" merely to reinforced why they shouldn't be angry with that..whatever's upsetting you ?

So maybe if GOD is not immune to anger maybe then we also entitled to get angry but try using sparingly..okay


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